Thursday, August 28, 2008

Automated Phone Systems

I have been trying to contact a government credit card issuer simply to get the web address to make a payment. First, I scoured each and every past statement for the card to find a URL to make a payment. No luck. So I GOOGLE every possible form of search terms...NO LUCK. So, begrudgingly I call the 1-800 number. First, I went through all the blasted menus, I counted 8 before I was stuck and forced to hang up. Back to GOOGLE. Why did I not write down the URL last time I did this for my darling hubby? You can bet your booties that this time I will. Still no luck. So, again, I dial the 1-800 number, anticipating a lengthy conversation which will get me nowhere because I am not the actual cardholder...don't you hate that? I'm his wife, I wash his underwear, cook his meals, and clean his stubble hairs out of the sink, aren't I privy to deal with his, not unless he emphatically states that I can handle his accounts; even then, some establishments require some stupid faxed signed, sealed, and notarized copy of permission, with attached marriage certificate. On a side, I often thought the only purpose of your stupid marriage certificate was to change your name on D.L., bank accounts, etc. No, you need it to pee in the great state of FL. I have officially used my marriage cert. now over 20 times since I moved here, and I have ALREADY established my name change PRIOR to residing here! So, tell me again, how is identity theft so easy?

So, upon dialing the 1-800 number, I do not enter the credit card number; angrily, the nice lady prompts me again. I sit in silence, secretly laughing and wondering how many times a day this nice lady gets upset because people do not do what she asks (and amazed that she did not say si habla espaniol?). She prompts me again stating that she can better serve me if I enter the number on the card. I sit, this goes on for 5 or 6 repeats.

Then, a customer service representative: How can I assist you today?
Me: I need the website to make a payment.
C.S.: I'll be happy to assist you with that. May I have your name please?
Me: Name.
C.S.: And your card number.
Me: I don't have a card. The card is my spouse's. I am making a payment for him. His name is ..., and the number is ....
C.S.: Ma'am, it is my obligation to inform you that I cannot give out information regarding the card to you, as you are not the cardholder.
Me: I just need the payment address. The card has a balance that needs to be paid. I am the family accountant.
C.S.: That website is.....
Me: Thank you very much.
C.S.: Certainly, is there anything else I can assist you with today.
Me: No, have a great day.
C.S.: And thank you for calling Bank of America.

What I really wanted to say, was do you know just where in the hell he ran up this bill? And see if I could get her going, or how can you assist me if you cannot share information with anyone but the cardholder. However, I didn't. Darn. Need to be more assertive about poking at people.

So, that automated experience wasn't the hardest, the hardest are cable providers, but still. When they were first invented, I loved them. No long waits, no annoying tele-person. Now, I despise them. Another evil/perk of the internet. No people to deal with. Just do your business and go on surfing/blogging.


Dr. Wifey said...

i usually press "0" until i get an operator

Anonymous said...

You think it's hard now while he's alive...just know what I mean Brando. I could tell you stories to scare anyone out of the thought of marriage...LOL Love your new posts, and am keeping track, MommaEarth

Confessions of A Mississippi Mom said...

Gosh the information is non available to you even though you have sex with him. Lord girl the things I tell my hubbies credit card company if I don't get my way. They usually give in b/c when I tell them the donkey we used the other night in our bed they just want to get rid of me. I know it was automated but I'm with Dr. Wifey get me a operator....

i'm black betty said...

i do what wifey says...i punch 0 over and over...

i stayed on the phone with at&t for almost 5 hours one day. i spoke with 17 different people and was transferred to 8 different numbers. all customer service departments SUCK!!!!!


Melissa said...

Hahaha reminds you of the days that you were changing travel plans over the phone the night before huh? (hope this comment doesn't start another blog)

It reminds me of AJ talking to Fabio whose Jamaican (cough...BS) and dreading that in 2 months I'll be talking to his friend for another 4 hours. Next time, start drinking at the beginning and see how much you down! ;)